I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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