3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
