he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
