i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
the liver wants what the liver wants
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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