my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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