I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
