Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
