i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Vodka?
Forever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
