sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is wine microwaveable?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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