office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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