I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Boobs are out for the taking
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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