the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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