Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize