I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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