I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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