I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
