he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
