guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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