he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
