There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This toilet bowl is my home.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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