just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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