I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
