Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize