Quick, to the slutcave!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They are going to name an STD after you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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