he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
