So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
