Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
