And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
