I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize