just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
