we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
