girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
