Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
