my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Terrible idea I love it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I touched a dick in church today
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
