yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
