i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
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He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
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Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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