its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
