A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
