Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize