i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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