you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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