Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
