Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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