When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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