I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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