so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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