i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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