Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize