I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
