it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
