Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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