he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize