I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
