people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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