I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
