maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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