He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So much rum. So many feels.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
