Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
