I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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